Time is a great deadener; 
people forget, get bored, grow old, go away

- jeanette winterson

Sunday morning. I was supposed to be up one and a half hours ago for bread and tuna, but half of me expected to not get up now anyway; i am tired of interaction. Accounting for it would be a tricky part.. Last night was abit of an exception, i was with people that allowed me to sprout nonsense even though some were not close to me. It was fun. Partially regrettably, three hours was spent on our little exchange on a morning during reading week, with crazy amounts of statistics to cover within the span of 4 days.

My dad came over yesterday, we had a great talk about (us)(ourselves)(growth)(growing)(the past)(memory) etc. I just received an email (2:47am) from sarah.

A little better now with some acknowledgement, though it frightens me a little, how the quote above was the first thing that drifted into my half-conscious mind when i woke up. People don't just move on, they forcibly move on, try to make the transition as painless and emotionless and invisible as possible.

My dad told me thinking/trying to rationalize my sadness is futile though it seems like it helps, because the emotions are the ones we have to tackle. True enough. The previous week's attempt at making myself feel better amounted to nothing, and the less-than-a-minute exchange magically resolved something in me. Nonetheless, i am worried for the truth the quote holds - not absolute truth, but what we try to make into a truth.